What a difference a year makes in the life and soul of one individual set amongst the lives and souls of several billion others emanate of human-kind. A year ago this month I began a journey that would guide me from the edge of the abyss through the doors of perception, heaven and hell and return me once again, better equipped, as was writ in stone by the stranger in an age now long since passed; in search of and to discover a new age dawning beyond the blue-tinged wintered light of the penultimate month of this New Year's communal celebration of life, itself.
The Sun will rise and the Sun will set on all that is found corporeal. One is allotted a finite existence only then in essence may one be enabled to cross-over the great divide to corroborate or belie the human tradition of life after death so continued. The generalised fear of an early intervention by the gods during our lifespan can be greatly bolstered on assured diagnosis of nasopharyngeal carcinoma; as happened to me on January 13th 2011.
The journey thus begun in sure and certain hope of the resurrection yet to pass in both medical and personal endeavour conjoined, I might, add in sentiment by many of my new found companions on that perceived road to oblivion with similar if not exact medical diagnosis is now settled. I in fortune am in a period of recovery whilst many of my compatriots lay cold in the ground; no longer concerned in the problematic of their envisaged demise and all hope of ascension abandoned in their rotted caskets.
The fresh flowers lay now upon the grave but the tears of our regret and the sentiment of loss will soon be abandoned, as the generational shift toward the Sun, will endure and the myriad memories of their existence will be forever lost in my time and the ending of yours.
I walk a lonely advent path with the stranger now at my door to comfort the consequence of the familiarity of my endured loss over this past year, now enacted. The stranger understood the process of alienation that ensued subsequent to adverse diagnostics and their impact on my fragility of soul, body and mind so affected by insidious disease. Only a mere handful of true-friendships remained unburdened by ones tribulation and would proffer their unconditional love and support without so much as a hint of socialized regret.
The life I now live is differentiated in one respect and one respect only it has become a life in ownership of self rather than one of acquiescence, instinctual survival and one burdened by decadal regret of inaction. The diagnostic machines proved worthy of their commission and lack of emotion in deliberation of my human condition. A lesson hard learned applicable in life brought about by the residual effects of a scientific programme of the advised treatment of chemical and radioactive intervention in culmination and preparation of the road now lay ahead before me and made distant that life once experienced living solely on the edge of existence.
©Séafra Ó Ceallaigh 2011
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