Saturday, November 24, 2012

In the beginning was the word and the word was Alienation

In the beginning was the word and the word was Alienation

''Parental Alienation is defined as the deliberate attempt by one parent to distance his/her children from the other parent. A parent who has been alienated from his/her child will continue to pursue a relationship with the child. The parent will attempt to communicate on a regular basis, will send emails and cards. The same parent will use the court system to fight the alienating parent and retain their legal rights to a relationship with their child. The alienated parent is not a parent who gives up or gives in.'

In contemporary society when the concept of personal relationship fails in opposition to the two partners involved; it becomes bankrupt as any fiscal-business one cares to name devoid of all positive emotion and/or singular regret. However; it no longer being a joint venture the warring factions eventually disengage and as the animal crawl away into familial comfort, their continued interference and self-justification of event thus exposed. The belligerent generally foreswore in all innocence their testament to basically anyone that will listen that they did all they could to maintain the relationship to a point beyond even that of human endurance.

The injured party will attest no more to the adage “Whatever happens between you and me. I will never stop you seeing the children.” The reverse of this lackluster sentiment becomes immediately apparent soon as one finds ones arse landed on the stone cold streets outside your once harmonious rural, urban and/or city conurbation. The law does not apply in such circumstance. The deliberate expulsion of one partner over another simply depends on gender. The first to enact, most likely a female, a personalized summary-eviction from the home is the one that gets to stay and to get away with this anomaly of human-kind. All one has to say to obtain support for ones action is that you are now made afraid by your actions against the person you just lobbed out on to the wintery streets.

It is as though a failed personal relationship rests easier in the mind of society to be publicly put forward as a criminal offence in itself. When interpersonal communication is lost the process further inhibited by inequitable law and human-right of the alienated parent to continue on fully involved with the lives of their children; as they have done equally so since the day the children were born is lost. The belligerent carry on their life as though nothing has changed and continue on self-assured that the expelled parent will eventually 'go-away' as in a magic-trick; or perhaps die from some unimaginable disease you would not wish upon your former mother-in-law?

The Alienated parent spends their waking hours devising ways with which to communicate their undying love to their children. Devising ways that are always rejected by the belligerent parent be they a simple 13th and/or 16th birthday card marked return to sender and/or a notice on face-book in a sad yet Soulful attempt at 'reaching-out' across the great digital-divide. The list of rejections is endless to fastrak simply imagine your own course of action if and when you are found in similar circumstance.

The Alienated parent will traverse the town-scape in the vain and uncertain hope they may catch a glimpse of their offspring albeit at a distance; so as not to further 'outrage' the belligerent parent. They may sit on a bench for hours and not even in the right place nor at the right time because of the ensuing bully-boy tactics of the local garda; when it be reported by a 'third-party' you are sat 'illegally' on a public-bench watching your life go down the proverbial toilet or simply walking down the street.

The Alienated parent will endure all that is aimed at them even to the point of imprisonment to demonstrate to the world at large their unique love for their children. There can be no justice in the family-court because of its inequity. How can justice be seen to be done in-camera law when there is no law to protect the constitutional and human rights of the unmarried parent in society; regardless of gender and/or origination of apportioned blame at the initial downfall.

The Alienated parent will continually ask the question “What I have I done wrong?” and often wonder who it is that is 'actually' being abused by this unresolved attempt by the belligerent parent to alienate the other poor sop who fell for it all; including the machinations of state-judiciary. Conversely the belligerent parent need say nothing other than words in the negative without recourse as to meaning to affect complete alienation of the other. Ergo in the eyes of vested familial third-party interest and/or so-called family law, mediation service will prove a complete lack of resolve in the 'best interests of the child'. And furthermore as it so often turns out to be in reality resolved only in the 'best interests of the belligerent parent' resulting in complete and total alienation of the other.

The belligerent parent does not 'move-on' they remain stagnant, silent, cowered, hidden in replication of event “They did this that and the other to me” “They frighten me” They are aggressive” They are violent” They are abusive” They hate the family cat” therefore I wised-up and threw my partner out. And somehow along the way the children agreed with me that it was the 'best course of action' in my circumstance.

The belligerent parent need not prove anything at all simply state the 'facts' in spoken, written and/or in unspoken body-language terms; all is alleged, all is made vulnerable in interpretation, all is assumed to be a true and sworn accurate account of unproven event. A tear here, a tremble there and Bob's your uncle all is done and dusted; the silenced subsequently cannot speak; cancerous voice-box or no.

The belligerent parent maintains their requirement to continue on the necessity of public support and justification of their privatized 'winter of discontent' devised solely to afford social acceptance of the original action of summary expulsion from an alleged former happy family-home of the now alienated parent; made wholly surplus to that requirement.

The Alienated parent is remained with just the one option. An inviolable option. The continuing love of their children. A love never faltered. A love freely offered since conception. A love proven innate. A love not for the bargaining within the realm of state-judiciary, personalized antipathy and the process of letting go of failed adult-relationship. Adult relationship more normally based upon fiscal-transaction, social-standing, vainglory, egocentricity, emotional-blackmail, learnt-behaviours passed down by generational fuck-ups of the 'previous' parental-kind.

When I was a kid I said. “ We all know what Dad did Ma' but what did you do?”

more to follow 'The alienated parent is not a parent who gives up or gives in.'

© The Misery Industry 2012

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