''Parental
Alienation is defined as the deliberate attempt by one parent to
distance his/her children from the other parent. A parent who has
been alienated from his/her child will continue to pursue a
relationship with the child. The parent will attempt to communicate
on a regular basis, will send emails and cards. The same parent will
use the court system to fight the alienating parent and retain their
legal rights to a relationship with their child. The alienated parent
is not a parent who gives up or gives in.'
In contemporary society when the concept of personal
relationship fails in opposition to the two partners involved; it
becomes bankrupt as any fiscal-business one cares to name devoid of
all positive emotion and/or singular regret. However; it no longer
being a joint venture the warring factions eventually disengage and
as the animal crawl away into familial comfort, their continued
interference and self-justification of event thus exposed. The
belligerent generally foreswore in all innocence their testament to
basically anyone that will listen that they did all they could to
maintain the relationship to a point beyond even that of human
endurance.
The injured party will attest no more to the adage
“Whatever happens between you and me. I will never stop you seeing
the children.” The reverse of this lackluster sentiment becomes
immediately apparent soon as one finds ones arse landed on the stone
cold streets outside your once harmonious rural, urban and/or city
conurbation. The law does not apply in such circumstance. The
deliberate expulsion of one partner over another simply depends on
gender. The first to enact, most likely a female, a personalized
summary-eviction from the home is the one that gets to stay and to
get away with this anomaly of human-kind. All one has to say to
obtain support for ones action is that you are now made afraid by
your actions against the person you just lobbed out on to the wintery
streets.
It is as though a failed personal relationship rests
easier in the mind of society to be publicly put forward as a
criminal offence in itself. When interpersonal communication is lost
the process further inhibited by inequitable law and human-right of
the alienated parent to continue on fully involved with the lives of
their children; as they have done equally so since the day the
children were born is lost. The belligerent carry on their life as
though nothing has changed and continue on self-assured that the
expelled parent will eventually 'go-away' as in a magic-trick; or
perhaps die from some unimaginable disease you would not wish upon
your former mother-in-law?
The Alienated parent spends their waking hours devising
ways with which to communicate their undying love to their children.
Devising ways that are always rejected by the belligerent parent be
they a simple 13th and/or 16th birthday card
marked return to sender and/or a notice on face-book in a sad yet
Soulful attempt at 'reaching-out' across the great digital-divide.
The list of rejections is endless to fastrak simply imagine your own
course of action if and when you are found in similar circumstance.
The Alienated parent will traverse the town-scape in
the vain and uncertain hope they may catch a glimpse of their
offspring albeit at a distance; so as not to further 'outrage' the
belligerent parent. They may sit on a bench for hours and not even in
the right place nor at the right time because of the ensuing
bully-boy tactics of the local garda; when it be reported by a
'third-party' you are sat 'illegally' on a public-bench watching your
life go down the proverbial toilet or simply walking down the street.
The Alienated parent will endure all that is aimed at
them even to the point of imprisonment to demonstrate to the world
at large their unique love for their children. There can be no
justice in the family-court because of its inequity. How can justice
be seen to be done in-camera law when there is no law to protect the
constitutional and human rights of the unmarried parent in society;
regardless of gender and/or origination of apportioned blame at the
initial downfall.
The Alienated parent will continually ask the question
“What I have I done wrong?” and often wonder who it is that is
'actually' being abused by this unresolved attempt by the belligerent
parent to alienate the other poor sop who fell for it all; including
the machinations of state-judiciary. Conversely the belligerent
parent need say nothing other than words in the negative without
recourse as to meaning to affect complete alienation of the other.
Ergo in the eyes of vested familial third-party interest and/or
so-called family law, mediation service will prove a complete lack of
resolve in the 'best interests of the child'. And furthermore as it
so often turns out to be in reality resolved only in the 'best
interests of the belligerent parent' resulting in complete and total
alienation of the other.
The belligerent parent does not 'move-on' they remain
stagnant, silent, cowered, hidden in replication of event “They did
this that and the other to me” “They frighten me” They are
aggressive” They are violent” They are abusive” They hate the
family cat” therefore I wised-up and threw my partner out. And
somehow along the way the children agreed with me that it was the
'best course of action' in my circumstance.
The belligerent parent need not prove anything at all
simply state the 'facts' in spoken, written and/or in unspoken
body-language terms; all is alleged, all is made vulnerable in
interpretation, all is assumed to be a true and sworn accurate
account of unproven event. A tear here, a tremble there and Bob's
your uncle all is done and dusted; the silenced subsequently cannot
speak; cancerous voice-box or no.
The belligerent parent maintains their requirement to
continue on the necessity of public support and justification of
their privatized 'winter of discontent' devised solely to afford
social acceptance of the original action of summary expulsion from an
alleged former happy family-home of the now alienated parent; made
wholly surplus to that requirement.
The Alienated parent is remained with just the one
option. An inviolable option. The continuing love of their children.
A love never faltered. A love freely offered since conception. A love
proven innate. A love not for the bargaining within the realm of
state-judiciary, personalized antipathy and the process of letting go
of failed adult-relationship. Adult relationship more normally based
upon fiscal-transaction, social-standing, vainglory, egocentricity,
emotional-blackmail, learnt-behaviours passed down by generational
fuck-ups of the 'previous' parental-kind.
When I was a kid I said. “ We all know what Dad did
Ma' but what did you do?”
more to follow 'The
alienated parent is not a parent who gives up or gives in.'
©
The Misery Industry 2012
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